i know, it's the wrong day, being mother's day and all...

... but this time, i'm going to talk about my dad. and Johnny Cash.

i remember the moment i learned that Johnny Cash died. not because i i really liked him at the time, but because it was also the moment when i realized that maybe my dad was on to something....

see, i never really respected my dad's tastes in music. in fact, i probably claimed that i hated them for a period of time. certain artists were so strongly linked to my dad that it was near impossible for me to separate them. Johnny Cash is one of those artists.

and when did this change?

i was at my friend melissa's apartment and our friend mk came in. she said she was listening to Johnny Cash all day in remembrance of him because he had died. there i stood, vaguely recalling that i heard that on the radio earlier that day and that the news didn't mean much to me. and then i thought about why not. i mean, i knew Cash was considered quite a legend. but see, i never really got it before. Johnny Cash was almost inseparable in my mind with my dad and the memories there were not always good. but there, standing on that generic beige carpet, my opinion changed. perhaps because it was coming from a person that was just about the polar opposite of my dad -- at least on paper -- particularly including the fact that she was  someone who knew her shit about really good hip hop. i don't even think that it was a thought: it was a shifting of emotion, or something deeper. this shift was solidified when i gave Cash a re-listen. i got it. i understood. not just the appeal of Johnny Cash, but i helped me understand my father. something settled and relaxed my my body about him -- my dad -- and a big part of that was some kind of forgiveness.